Being shy 

Being shy can be one of the worse curses on a persons life especially towards adulthood. It is seen as kind of a cute thing in children but plagues the world of adults. It becames embarrassing and difficult and can be undealable at times. 

I was always shy as a child its not something I could combat easy. I didn’t make new friends easy because I didn’t like to approach people and always wondered what would I say etc and I suppose part of shyness is the fear of their reaction towards you. What if they dont like you?  What if they dont speak back? All the questions go through the mind. 

I never used to like walking into rooms that had a lot of people in them such as at family gatherings as I knew the attention would be on me and my face would go red. I wouldn’t know what to say etc. This was accepted in childhood but adulthood it can come across in a man as an entirely different thing. 

As I got older shyness came with me. Shyness was part of me. It became a nightmare for the boy-girl situation as I was too shy to speak to any girls I liked and if any girl spoke to me I would go red in the face and feel and probably look stupid. 

Shyness is a difficult situation to control. It can lead you to say and do the most stupid things when speaking to people and embarrass you further. Its so hard to combat. You can feel yourself going red in the face and then panic sets in within you. The fear of the chat with someone and the anxiety overtake you. The fight within yourself overcomes you and you say anything or do anything to try and hide it but make it worse and it spills out into your outer world for example if someone says hello you have to go that one step further just to try and show an image of composure to others by asking them a further question or doing something to distract attention from yourself. Example when I was young I think I pushed a friend etc and tried to deflect attention away from me onto him but just made me look stupid probably and strange. 

Being shy makes the real you suppressed and you cannot break a shell you are within. You just want to hide from the situation you find yourself in. You want to beamed up away from it and somewhere you feel safe. I spent many times wishing I could teleport to somewhere else. The feel of dread is a horrible feeling. 

Luckily I am not so shy these days. There are times when I go red in the face and suffer a little but usually these are throwbacks such as if I see someone from school I haven’t seen for years and sends me back into them times of shyness I once lived. 

Being shy can be a nightmare and so hard to overcome. It can lead to embarrassment and fear and strange events and actions you never wanted to do in first place. It can plague your life.

I feel sorry for people who are shy because I once lived it. May we all overcome shyness and be able to find composure and peace within and be ourselves. 

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