The darkness of hearts

As I walk through dark times in my life I feel lost and alone with no guidance and direction and the darkness begins to suffocate me.

The fear of failure is a disease to the mind and the feeling of past actions and words come back to drag me back into the darkness.

When life becomes hard and help become less and the future becomes more bleak and there is no evidence of help on the horizon and darkness covers the skies above us where do we go?

Can anyone see my hand reaching out in the darkness?

When the heart falls and the tears fill the eyes then the soul becomes lost within the dark.

Within the darkness of worlds and emotions, the eyes cannot see, the heart is weak and the mind is a cruel torturer with images of doom

The coldness and silence dominate and the emotion of sadness runs through the veins destroying all happiness

The once happy soul is now a shadow of its former self and a happy face is now replaced by anger and hatred and rage from suffocation of the darkness within the heart,

Worry, panic and fright create a tortured mind and a short temper within as the mind cannot focus on anywhere but the problems ahead.

An eclipse of the heart has blocked out the freedom and happiness of a person

There is no worse feeling that a trapped and suffering soul within that cannot release itself from the modern slavery of mankind in the modern world, the slavery of souls and distress of needing to survive in the world and reality created by mankind

Can anyone see my hand reaching out in the darkness of my world for help?

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The uprising of minds

I shall rise up strong like the sun, I shall wander free and as peaceful as the moon

I shall fly graciously and majestically as the Eagle

Suffering shall only seek to strengthen me, Hurt shall only seek to educate me

Nothing that mankind makes shall destroy my health, mind and soul

All that which I worry about in the end doesn’t even matter.

I can be saved from troubles, I can save myself from all, I can be the greatest warrior of soul and strength

I shall uprise and be strong, I shall uprise and be smarter and better than what I was before.

I shall uprise with magnificent positivity and know what matters the most in life

I must do everything I can and be everything I can be, to be free from financial chains, first I must free myself and overcome myself and be better than what I was before.

Life isnt about what I am now, but what I shall become

When time gets tough, the mighty shall rise, the weakness of a mind shall be educated and people shall have experienced true life.

Life without suffering is no life lived.

Suffering shall always be hard, but what is the joy in life and reward if life was easy?

But let them say one day that I lived in a time of great struggle, but let it be known – that I lived in a time of great paradise and beauty

The rejection of Friendship

Throughout life at some point we would of all experienced it – the need and want of everyone to like us and be our friend. 

Whether at school or at work you try to be friends with everyone wanting to be accepted by all and liked by all. But sadly this doesn’t always go to plan. Another feeling alot of us would of experienced is the hurt and the sadness of one person not referring to us as a friend or being in their chosen list of best friends or left out of a chosen group. This is a hurtful feeling when you believed they were your friend and that you believed they liked you because you liked them.  I dont think they reject us as anything personal that is just how we choose to look at it and see it. 

So what is this need we have for everyone to like us and accept us?  Why do we try so hard to be accepted?  Surely not everyone can have people as good friends. We will all have our favourites. Usually mainly in school we will change our image and personality to fit in with the popular person hoping they like us and trying to be like them. But then that makes us look fake and ingenuine. How can we expect people to like us if we are not our true self? 

In my life I have had many friends but honestly only one or two close friends I can trust. Even though many were friends I still didn’t class them in my trusted circle. For example you quickly learn who your friends are during arguments and bickering when they use personal knowledge you told them in confidence against you. 

So perhaps when I have experienced that feeling of not being accepted by another I thought was my friend I stop and wonder – perhaps unknowingly I have inflicted this hurt onto another over years gone by also? Perhaps I have left someone out of an event or not mentioned them as my best friends not knowing they were listening or that it would hurt them. 

I believe we can learn alot from rejection. We can become stronger and emotionally wiser and more self aware. We can see our own faults and seek to improve them and make ourselves better people. We can identify closer and better friendships in the future and accept our own likes and dislikes. 

Afterall I suppose we cannot be friends with everyone for this just would not work. Perhaps the people who hurt us with the snub of our friendship doesn’t really matter anyway as would they of been your friend genuinely anyway?  Were you and them alike and share alot in common? Why do we get so defensive? 

For example recently a man in work is getting married and was inviting people from work etc but he didn’t invite me or one or two others. I didn’t mind as I am alot older now but once upon a time I would of dwelled on it. It was still in the back of my mind a little – why didn’t he invite me?  Does he not like me?  Am i not as good as the others?  But I didn’t care so much for why should I?  We are not best of friends we are more colleagues. We just work together. I haven’t known these people long I just come to work to do a job I already have my friends elsewhere who I value. But still the feeling of rejection hurts at all ages. 

So my personal opinion is for us to just be ourselves we shouldn’t need to please others and be accepted by them. We should be confident in who we are and enjoy being us. If people dont wish to be a close friend of ours then that doesn’t matter for we will find greater and closer friends elsewhere. Why waste our time trying to please others when others were maybe not worth pleasing at the end of the day. 

So just enjoy yourself and not worry too much about everyone being your friend. You cannot be the same as everyone and I dont think its good surely to have too many friends as you wont be able to dedicate your time to the special friendships. They are the important ones. The beautiful connections experience with kindred souls.  So just relax and be content with your true self and true friends will find you.