This is England

When people talk of England the immediate image that comes to mind is London, of Big Ben and the houses of Parliament and red buses. But there is so much more to England than this as I have recently found out. 

Amongst the busy times of life where we all work and watch tele and time passes by there is another part of England which exists which at times gets forgotten about by many – the beautiful English countryside. 

Recently I went to the lake district and was amazed by the beauty I saw an hour and a half away from where I live. There was lakes and mountains and fields as far as the eye could see. There was beautiful country roads passing into the distance through the mountains which spiral on into the distance what seems like forever. It was beautiful and breath taking. The long and winding roads heading to the distance as I passed on the country roads. 

Here was peace and beauty and nature. Here was the recharging energies of nature before me. This was a long world away from the big cities. This was the heart of England. The English countryside.

This is a picture I took at Wastwater lake. The beauty was breath taking and refreshing. I have never seen such beauty in England not natural beauty like this. The lake district certainly is the heart of England and there surely is no place else like the unique beauty of the English country. The whole British isles has splendid natural wonders and England possesses one of them diamonds. Where the mountain rivers flow, and the mountains are green and splendid. Here the forests are green and refreshing and the fields go long into the horizon. The waters are cold yet beautiful. 

I know all countries have natural wonder and natural beauty but this beauty is typically English. A beautiful sight of rural England. This is the real England before me and the English truth of beauty. 

While flowing along the long lonely country roads through the lakes and mountains I was stopped because of Bulls on the road. They didn’t care as this was their territory and their world. They were calm and placid and continued on the path they were taking over the fields. There was sheep scattered everywhere on the Hills and mountains and I was right in the midst of nature. It was beautiful. 
As the sun sneaks out from under a cloud and shows himself he casts his light onto the craggs and mountains way up high creating beauty. I could sit here all day and bask in nature. The joys are so much more rewarding. The view much more pleasing to the eyes and mind. 

Nature is my most favourite thing in the world. Nature is the natural world which we came from and which is the truth of life. I would hate to think of a day where there is no nature and all houses. It would be a horrible world. May mankind respect nature forever. We was born by the will of nature and in death we shall return to beautiful nature.

http://www.golakes.co.uk/

And I cant help but think – did those feet in ancient times walk upon Englands mountains green?

So in my own personal opinion I would choose the country over the cities for beauty and to spend time. With the beautiful little villages and the fresh air for me it is not even a hard choice. Nature is immense and wonderful. 

In my eyes the lake district certainly is the heart of England. 

Oh England I am in your garden breathing in your wonderful nature… 

My song for Europe

I am lying in my bed,  I wish that you was here, 

I need the smell of your skin,  I love the way you wear your hair, 

Its not about what you are,  its about who you are

We are kindred souls,  we possess kindred goals

I love your natural beauty,  You are truly blessed,  and within sight of you,  my mind is truly possessed 

I wish you was here,  just lying in my arms, I wish I could stroke your face,  and hold you in a passionate embrace

I wish that you was here,  where you belong,  letting me feel your warmth

I love the way you are,  I love the beauty of your soul

I love the colour of your hair against your skintone,  the most beautiful girl I have ever known

I am lying in bed, and I hug my pillow as if it is you

I want to lay with you every night,  see the moon shine through the window,  your gorgeous eyes lit up by the moonlight

I won’t let this dream of me and you fade, for in destiny it was surely made

I am thinking to myself,  How soon I need my dream to come true,  how my one true love,  it is definitely you

My heart is forever yours and I want to know you are mine,  you have always had my heart,  you have had my eyes from the very start

I am lying in my bed I am desperate for you to be here

I need you now,  I desire you now, I want to be in bed lying with you so close

I love you so much,  I love you like mad

I am lying in my bed and I wish you was here… I want the most beautiful girl I have ever known, our love has truly grown,  But I am lying here in bed… And I am all alone

The beauty of marriage

Marriage – a beautiful commitment between two souls. Where love is shown at its strongest and most powerful. 

For most of my life I never have believed in marriage. I thought it was an outdated insitution and a religious ceremony of years gone by which should of been banished to history. I believed it favoured woman traditionally over a man. In England marriage became less and less as had religion. I was one of these English people who had decided marriage wasn’t for them. 

That is of course until one day – when your eyes see the most beautiful girl who ever lived. Who changes all your dreams and desires and goals in life and you know you just have to have her. That you want to marry her. The only girl you will ever want to marry. 

That this perfect girl has to be yours truly with the ultimate commitment. That you want to be stood waiting for her to come walking towards you on your wedding day and you turn to see the most beautiful girl in the world coming towards you to marry you and be your wife and share your life forever. 

You know she has the most amazing beauty,  most amazing heart and eyes and hair and soul which you could never find anywhere else in the world and you just want her as your wife. She’s your bestest friend also in all the world and you know you would die to save her and be with her forever. 

Marriage holds beauty in the holding of hands with your one true love,  the exchanging of vows of devotion and dedication to one person forever. The beauty of commitment and love. Marriage is where dreams and families are brought together and where love can grow stronger between two people as their dreams mix together as one. There’s not much more beautiful in this life than such a vow. 

So if you have someone like that make sure you marry them and love them and be safe in the knowledge they are yours and commited to you forever and sleeps in your arms every night. Do the right thing by her and give her that show of love. Put that ring on her finger and devote to her forever. 

I want to stand before her and confess my undying love for my one true love and commit and devote to her forever before the eyes of God. I want her to be mine and love me forever. She’s the angel of my lifetime. 

This applies to everyone in every religion. Marriage is a beautiful loving ceremony. Its a new beginning for love amongst two people and hearts joined together. Its where a man has a reason for living. Knowing he has to live just to love her and be near her. Romance is beautiful in a wedding and a joining of a marriage. 

So if you have a special someone make sure you win her heart and marry her. Because imagine the devastation that you didn’t – and she became someone elses girl and the girl that you love is marrying someone else and loves him and is commiting to him forever. The thought of that is a painful hurtful one. Dont lose that oppurtunity and go for it and win her heart and make sure she is yours for if you do not then you face devastating emotion and hurt and pain forever. The hurt of knowing the dream is over and she can never be yours. 

You will be sat there thinking – I loved her, I wanted her, I needed her,  she belonged to me and your heart is in many pieces. So dont risk losing her,  dont lie or cheat or mess her around or break her trust. Keep her on the path of truth and devotion. If she’s your one true love bask in her beauty and foresake all others. 

So before its too late marry your one true love and live in eternal happiness and love forever. Never take it for granted she will be yours if you dont make the effort. Always show her you love her. Never give up on your love especially if she loves you. A womans love is strong and true to a man and without question dedicated to a man she loves. So if you have the love of a woman make sure your love is pure in return. 

So there was a time when I thought marriage was a thing of the past and living together was the future. But perhaps this is a little more primitive and less moral than marriage. Where is the joy and true commitment of love in just living together? 

I believe now marriage is the future for us all and to live within love deeply. To devote deeply and cement a nice beautiful love and family together. What beautiful values there is within such a ceremony. 

So imagine standing there before the person you love in a beautiful place vowing to love the person you love forever before people you love and care about and who love you also and re-joice in your happiness of love. What a beautiful day. 

In my eyes marriage is beautiful and the source of all true love. The union of love and the walking together into paradise. 

I wish you all a long happy beautiful marriage. You may now kiss the bride…. 

Sexism issues

Even in this modern day sexism still exists. If I worked in a company doing exactly the same job as a woman and she got paid less I would be upset. What kind of an employer would allow this?  What are their insane reasons?  I cannot understand how such a silly thing such as sexism still exists. If I owned a company I would employ people to work for me and to do the same and be paid the same regardless of their gender. 

I can only imagine this sort of behaviour is operated by men who have no respect and are still basically primitive in their mindset. They love to hold power over women and make them feel less than themselves. Are they threatened by women?  Do women make them feel uncomfortable?  I see no reason why a woman shouldn’t be paid the same as a man for the same job. 

These are the type of men who believe women in the office make the tea and call them darling and sweetheart etc what kind of ancient stereotypes are they operating on because it isn’t the same as modern day good men who respect women. 

It is upsetting to hear or read that beautiful women who have done well in jobs and been promoted people say that it happened and they have achieved this because they are pretty. Is it not because they are smart and earned it? Women have brains as well as men and have dreams, goals and ambitons and wish to have the same oppurtunities as men. 

On the other side of the debate with me being a man I dont quite understand a term often used by women of ‘a real man’. I am a man and I am real. So what does this mean?  Is this using stereotypes? What does ‘man up’ and ‘its a mans job’ mean for a woman?  Is this not also sexist against men?  What is a ‘real man’?  And what would a ‘real woman’ be?  

There is lots of sexism against men. Custody battles for children favour women,  divorce favours women,  men are expected to do the more dangerous jobs than women,  when men fight it is often seen as sport and if a man doesn’t like to fight he often is looked as less of a man. Men are forced more than women to supress certain emotions as it isn’t manly. A man is mainly forced to live a stereotypical male lifestyle. A woman recieves a lesser crime sentence for the same crime as a man. So sexism against men also exists. Men are raised to be ‘a man’ etc. 

Advertising has become sexist on the televisions etc where it displays men driving or doing DIY. I can understand men are more likely to do DIY but alot of women enjoy it also. Most household adverts are aimed at women such as washing up and laundry etc which yes still women primarily do this but is it right or wrong to display the woman? Should there not also be a man at times in these kind of adverts? Media still tries to encourage job roles and positions in society of genders. 

Also still in todays world men can sleep with as many girls as he wants and be seen as a hero but a girl does it and recieves abusive names. Thats far from equality in my eyes. Everyone is an adult who can do as they choose. As long as no one is at harm or risk. Just because they are a girl doesn’t mean they dont want to enjoy themselves the same as men. What’s good for the goose is good for the gander… 

I think sexism although often done by men exists both ways and maybe is just part of human nature sadly. We must learn to respect each other and value each other for neither gender is better or worse. It needs to be equality and teamwork. 

I think sexism at times is just ‘banter’ amongst people mainly. Whenever I have heard of it happen usually its a lighthearted joke but I would be really upset if I witnessed it properly. Once I witnessed a man from work touch the new girls bum on purpose. He had no right so I told him what I thought of him. She is not meat for him to touch she is a person. Women are not objects or possessions. 

It cannot be nice to be treated less than someone else simply because of the gender you was born. It is not fair to lessen ones chances compared to another. I certainly wouldnt like it. Workplaces should be genderless and job roles for all who wish to achieve it. People are people afterall. No one should have less oppurtunities in life. 

I admit at times maybe their should be roles in society in some places for men and women but teamwork must play a part and help each other as much as possible. 

Example being really physical jobs I can understand why this is a mans job etc as it is more challenging and harder. Heavy lifting etc if I was working along side a girl in this job I wouldn’t want to see her do that as the gentleman in me would do it for her. Soldiers and builders and sewege workers are jobs men mainly do but the oppurtunity should still be there for all. No one should ever be surpressed in their life and dreams. 

So in my opinion everyone should be allowed to follow their dreams, ambitions and be treated equally with equal oppurtunities. The future needs to be togetherness and respectfulness and equality… 

An Angels wing

Once upon a time my grandmother told me that when you find a white feather in your path an angel is near. Your guardian angel contacting and guiding you. 

I have heard this theory a few times over the years from different people and always put it down to superstition or an old wives tale etc and that its just the feather of a bird and that people were being silly. 

But recently I had my first encounter with this mystic white feather. 

I had been thinking alot lately of my grandmother who had passed on a few years ago. She had been entering my dreams etc for a short spell and reminding me of her. I wondered if she was ok wherever she was or even if she was anywhere. At times my faith is tested and at times I will be sceptical of God etc.  

Recently was one of them times where I had been sceptical of the existance of God and had a spell of trying to detatch myself and see what it felt like – to live in a world for what it was. No God,  no divine,  no spiritworld, nothing but humans wandering round on a planet existing and that we was alone. It started off strong… 

Then the dreams began of relatives passed over, of nana talking to me in her home, or sat in mums chair etc. They werent unusual dreams they were just normal dreams nothing special but the people in them had returned at a certain point.  Luck also faded slightly and finances and job became harder in a few brief days. Luck went against me etc. 

So just when I seeked a source of comfort it happened. Almost divinely it came to me. I pulled up on mums drive in my car and got out. I stood there and there was no wind and was a peaceful day when suddenly before me fell – a white feather. 

It drifted slowly to the floor and landed at my feet. I stood there and looked at it. It was a beautiful pure white feather and I had no idea where it came from. I picked it up and looked at it. It was pure white. I wondered what kind of a bird it could of come from?  Usually seagulls have grey or dark grey or blue tints on the end and there isn’t many of them where I live either.  It was brilliant white. Thats when I remembered the superstition and the myth of the white feather. Where did this feather come from? 

I have always since growing up been unsure of religion and never really followed it.  I never studied it etc. I never believed in mermaids and fairies and goblins etc and I placed angels in this category but in my mind I always believed in God and Ghosts etc. 

This was a fascinating insight into spiritual beings we are all told about through our lives. Where had this feather come from? 

It was brilliant white something like you would expect to see on an angels wings. 

Whether it was an angel close by or not or my guardian angel I shall never know but either way it was a source of comfort for me and was nice and felt happy because I felt like I was being looked after. I imagined my guardian angel. It gave me comfort and a love feeling. Was I being protected by a spiritual being helping me through life? I imagined the beautiful white wings of an angel. 

Once before I have believed I experienced an angel many years ago. I was in bed and at a low in my life. I didn’t know what to do. I was lost and alone and worried and scared. I lay in bed sad and alone. Thats when I felt a warmth take over me. I suddenly felt guidance and answers and a way forward and more at peace. It was beautiful. I felt like I had been touched by an angel. Perhaps people will say it is in my imagination who knows but whatever happened it helped me move forward. 

There could be other explanations etc and I am not someone who jumps to conclusions and immediate answers of the divine. Maybe there was a good explanation. But the idea of an angel worked for me and made me feel comfort. It helped me rise again and have direction. 

Oh at times when I am at a low how I wish I had an angel,  how I hope I do have a guardian angel who can protect me and guide me and keep me from hurt and pain and sadness. May they lead me to safety and keep me from harm and heartache. May they help me to do the right thing and help my life be the best it can be despite the pain and the sadness at times we will suffer. At times we will all be at a low. But may the angels help us rise again and guide us to a little piece of heaven on Earth that we all crave and need and want.

So may the white feathers fall close by us all,  May the divine let us know they are there with us. 

I dont believe I am blessed. No more than anyone else. Perhaps the signs are always there for us all to see. But perhaps at times with our busy lives we fail to notice. 

Do I believe in Angels… I would like to say yes

Bullying hurts

In all walks of life and in all ages bullying exists. We all know someone or have experienced ourselves evidence of bullying. Bullying hurts them who are the victims deeper than the bully will ever know. 

In my own experience of bullying it was a year which caught me alone. I was 11 years old and it was my first year of my new school. I hardly knew anyone at all and didn’t make friends easy because I was shy. 

Unfortunately I became the victim of a series of bullying for almost a year. This was extremely difficult for me as a young boy as the two people who bullied me were girls. I dont know why they chose me and I dont know what they wanted. I think had I been bullied by two boys it would be different as I could of handled it better. If needs be by combat to sort it out and draw a line of respect. But when its two girls that option is not there. I didn’t know what to do or how to handle it. All I could do was take the abuse and suffer it and carry on. The name calling and the insults really hurt more than physical bullying. It gets to the soul and emotion and upsets you more. Physical wounds will heal but emotion and psychological wounds are permanently damaged. 

Whenever I had to walk past them they would block me with their legs if they were sat down and once or twice one kicked me. Another time they blocked me in a coridoor and showered me with insults and anger. The whispering about you and laughing with others looking at you and the turning of people against you is sore. They say sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me but trust me they do. Sticks and stones hurt your bones but words harm the heart and soul. Words can bring a person to their knees and break hearts. 

I dont know if at the time they knew they were bullying me etc and realized it and have probably long since forgot about it but for me it scarred me and I have took it from that time with me my whole entire life and will come with me the memories to my grave. 

I was once sat on the stairs at home sad re-living the words one evening after seeing them. My mum asked if I was ok because I looked sad and I said I was fine. I never told anyone and kept it to myself. There was nothing no one could of done. Telling the teacher would be pointless as it would spread my ridicule and embarrassment and humiliation further. I suffered and I suffered alone in silence. What is a boy supposed to do against two girls?  

It made me insecure and feel ugly, weak and pathetic and had no confidence in myself. I felt like nothing and just terrible and lived in fright of going school. The bullying wasn’t always happening. It wasn’t relentless but I think a big part of bullying is the dread you feel of knowing you have to face them and when you see them in school your heart sinks. 

I am just glad that when I was 11 the internet basically didn’t exist. Had I been on facebook etc I think they would of cyber bullied me. That would of infiltrated my house. Home during this time was my safe haven where I felt secure. 

Anyway something in their friendship must of changed as the bullying one day just stopped and over time I forgave one of them as I think secretly she had fancied me and became nice to me over the years but the other I shall never forgive. She was the ring leader and the ruthless one. Even at times when I seen her over the years I remember that dread feeling. The upset I had because of her and the damage she had done to me. But I know now as the person I am today that now I would eat them for breakfast as I am much stronger now. 

It made me insecure and anxious and shy of people and at such a young age for a boy when I should of been mixing with girls and learning about the opposite gender it made me shy away. It made me panic incase it happened again and had no confidence in myself and a belief girls wouldn’t like me. 

I suppose maybe they didn’t know they were bullying me or torturing me the way they did and victimising me. I know my experience was probably minimal and people go through alot worse and I cant imagine what people must go through. What I went through was more than enough and I suppose it could of been worse but it was enough to damage me. Life can be cruel and people can be changed forever through bullying. 

When you live through bullying and come out the other side you are stronger and smart and more aware. You must never let them win. There was times they nearly broke me. But in fact they made me. They made me the person I am today. 

I think Bullys are usually insecure of themselves and reflecting attention away from their own downfalls and weaknesses. I think cyber bullys are cowards who need to grow up and discover true emotion and experience life and people and hurt and love. They need be secure in themselves. 

So I thank my bullys for making me stronger and smarter with a deeper soul. They made me the man I am today. 

Sadly I think bullying willl always exist and victimisation etc but if you are in these situations then fight on and smile through and be true to yourself and walk on. For there will be a brighter day. Without suffering we will never know happiness when we find it. 

Also if you are tormenting or teasing someone consistantly remember it might be a bit of fun to you which soon will be forgotten but to the victim it is something they won’t forget and carry the sadness, anger, upset, worry and torture with them for the rest of their life and have been scarred by your actions. 

I have never told anyone this of that year but writing this blog has helped lift a weight off my soul and helped me bring closure… 

The rejection of Friendship

Throughout life at some point we would of all experienced it – the need and want of everyone to like us and be our friend. 

Whether at school or at work you try to be friends with everyone wanting to be accepted by all and liked by all. But sadly this doesn’t always go to plan. Another feeling alot of us would of experienced is the hurt and the sadness of one person not referring to us as a friend or being in their chosen list of best friends or left out of a chosen group. This is a hurtful feeling when you believed they were your friend and that you believed they liked you because you liked them.  I dont think they reject us as anything personal that is just how we choose to look at it and see it. 

So what is this need we have for everyone to like us and accept us?  Why do we try so hard to be accepted?  Surely not everyone can have people as good friends. We will all have our favourites. Usually mainly in school we will change our image and personality to fit in with the popular person hoping they like us and trying to be like them. But then that makes us look fake and ingenuine. How can we expect people to like us if we are not our true self? 

In my life I have had many friends but honestly only one or two close friends I can trust. Even though many were friends I still didn’t class them in my trusted circle. For example you quickly learn who your friends are during arguments and bickering when they use personal knowledge you told them in confidence against you. 

So perhaps when I have experienced that feeling of not being accepted by another I thought was my friend I stop and wonder – perhaps unknowingly I have inflicted this hurt onto another over years gone by also? Perhaps I have left someone out of an event or not mentioned them as my best friends not knowing they were listening or that it would hurt them. 

I believe we can learn alot from rejection. We can become stronger and emotionally wiser and more self aware. We can see our own faults and seek to improve them and make ourselves better people. We can identify closer and better friendships in the future and accept our own likes and dislikes. 

Afterall I suppose we cannot be friends with everyone for this just would not work. Perhaps the people who hurt us with the snub of our friendship doesn’t really matter anyway as would they of been your friend genuinely anyway?  Were you and them alike and share alot in common? Why do we get so defensive? 

For example recently a man in work is getting married and was inviting people from work etc but he didn’t invite me or one or two others. I didn’t mind as I am alot older now but once upon a time I would of dwelled on it. It was still in the back of my mind a little – why didn’t he invite me?  Does he not like me?  Am i not as good as the others?  But I didn’t care so much for why should I?  We are not best of friends we are more colleagues. We just work together. I haven’t known these people long I just come to work to do a job I already have my friends elsewhere who I value. But still the feeling of rejection hurts at all ages. 

So my personal opinion is for us to just be ourselves we shouldn’t need to please others and be accepted by them. We should be confident in who we are and enjoy being us. If people dont wish to be a close friend of ours then that doesn’t matter for we will find greater and closer friends elsewhere. Why waste our time trying to please others when others were maybe not worth pleasing at the end of the day. 

So just enjoy yourself and not worry too much about everyone being your friend. You cannot be the same as everyone and I dont think its good surely to have too many friends as you wont be able to dedicate your time to the special friendships. They are the important ones. The beautiful connections experience with kindred souls.  So just relax and be content with your true self and true friends will find you.