Within darkness….

In life is everything we do and everything we work for pointless if we dont have someone to share it with?

Is it all meaningful and special without someone to experience it with us and to enjoy it with us and be proud in the eyes of others

One day who will appreciate our work and our time and effort if there is no one to remember us and who we was and what we did

Through having people with us and around us is this the best way to immortalise ourselves?

What becomes of the lonely? Those who give life their everything but without a special someone ended with nothing.

It can be so lonely in a room of people. Sometimes you feel so invisible and no one would notice if you left. Sometimes you feel you dont matter at all.

Sometimes it is hard to escape the darkness of our minds. When we get lost and search frantically for a light to lead us out into where we are free.

Sometimes we are our own worse enemies and greatest critics. Where we turn against ourselves and become negative.

Where the horrible words of others throughout our lives come back to haunt us and destroy our mind and happiness.

I sometimes feel like I am in deep water, I am going under the water often and struggling to return to the surface for air and I get air sometimes but I keep going back under and the fight continues to stay above the surface.

I search for my purpose and I often can never find it. I search for who I want to be but a battle of who I want to be and what I should be takes place.

Once the negative gets a grip on you it keeps coming back again and again and again and doesnt chose when or where it just happens.

A battle takes place between my positives and my negatives. But as if with life the positive vibes only come from me but the negatives often are said by others towards me over the years and this is heard again by me in their voice in my mind.

I gaze in the mirror and remember the cruel words of others. I sometimes hate the person staring back at me because of them words. Because of how they made me feel.

I compare myself to others and wonder why I am not like them. I envy others and face shame and embarrassment of myself.

I sometimes focus on my flaws. They become magnified and I begin to wish I had never been born

Then I sometimes feel so trapped in life and how people see me and things I have said and done wrong and my behaviour at times and how I feel out of place or with no place and I just wish I could end it all and leave this life

But it is these demons which motivate me on to achieve my dreams while I can and achieve all I can while I can.

Life for some can be so tough and our minds can be such a dark place to play.

I win many battles against my mind but I often wonder if one day – I will lose the war – but it is a war I shall be victorious….


God the Creator…

Don’t you wonder who created you?
Don’t you wonder who?
Our God, creator of me and you

The miracles of our eyes,
The creator of the beautiful night skies
Given by our God the mighty wise

It was God who gave us breath
And brings us beautiful paradise in death

In this world God give us life and love,
And beautiful visions of nature
And the peaceful sounds of song birds in the trees above

God is who created me and you,
And the moon and the stars too,
God who brings great love through

Dont you wonder who created you? And the beauty within all of you…

And the blessing of when we was born, and the blessing in life at each new day at dawn

The sound in the sky of the birds wings, The whisper in the wind, the gentle breeze upon humanity, and the love that God brings

Within us all is humanity, within us is mighty God, and great love – lasting for eternity

The greatness of God, as his love shines across humanity like the sunrise, covering us all with kindness and love, reminding us our spirit never dies

Dont you wonder who created you,

Mighty God created you, me and you…

A Runcorn Ghost….

It was a late September night in 2018 when this event took place. It lasted only seconds but was very strange.

It was on Boston Avenue where it happened where I arrived at a house late on. It was now dark and about 11pm.

The street is quite often empty and you see little people around late at night despite its quite busy location of a daytime on a busy road.

I went to the house and then returned to get something out of the boot. As I approached the boot – the driveway was next to the public footpath next to the road outside the house. The boot faced parked on the drive towards the path and road.

This is when I seen coming towards me a young girl. It was dark and didnt take too much notice of her. But I knew it was a girl from her size roughly of a teenage girl with long hair. I remember she wore earphones and her face was shadowed out. She was about 7 foot away from me.

But apart from that I never looked or took any notice other than the quick glance at her as I turned to the boot with my back now to the road and the path. Because usually of a day or early evening you see dogwalkers and young people on the paths walking along.

I decided to wait until she passed until I opened the boot. I turned and looked around again quick – but there was absolutely nobody there. She had completely vanished….

I looked up and down the road but there was no girl….

She couldnt of gone into another house because her location was too close to me to go into someone elses drive and I would of seen her go down the drive as the fences are low between the houses. But there was absolutely no one about. She had simply dissapeared…

I can still remember it clearly as she came down the path towards me. I can see her shape and hair and length. I remember how the streetlamp lit up around her but her face and most of her front was shadowed out in darkness as Boston Avenue is quite a dark place anyway at night.

But what I do remember since this event which lasted about 5 seconds. From when I first seen her, turned my back and then turned back again and she had vanished – what I remember which I didnt notice at the time – is she had no footsteps.

She literally just came down the path, silently and dissapeared….

I dont know whether anyone else has ever witnessed anything in this area but to me it actually happened and was very strange as I know she couldnt of gone in another house or crossed the road or passed me out of sight within 5 seconds….

I would love to hear from others who have experienced anything strange…

The Spirit Guide

When I am alone, in silence and the world is quiet – the spirits come to me. They bring me messages. They dont speak to me or appear to me, they give me visions and show me things around me to focus on and a story and an event takes place both now and within the future. Visions of things I will regret if I dont act now and if I dont slow down and remember the good and important things in life. Things which are precious and valuable and priceless and temporary.

I feel the emotion of the regret I will have if I dont act now and see whats important now.

I am shown by the spirit guide the path I could take if I dont become smarter and its a much darker path of which there is no return to the past. The past cannot be changed. We cannot return to wrong the rights. We cannot rise again and do it all again. I believe they try to lead me on the path of which I will have no regret just happy memories in the future. I have two paths. The darker ones emotions are shown to me now. To avoid at all costs. I must listen to this message.

I am shown myself through the eyes of others. I see a different me to the one I think I am. I see a different angle of me and a different appearance.

The whisper in the winds of silence of the spirits are wise and although many do not believe I do, I believe and I feel and I experience it beautifully.

I am not perfect. I make mistakes, I take life and people and moments for granted but I work hard to stop this.

It is the moments I am shown and the regret of the image of what will happen if I dont change and slow down and see the beauty in certain moments. Time doesnt stand still.

I have been through many storms but where would I be without the guidance of the spirits and the inspiration given to me in times of need that I never found myself. I unlocked this world that so many people shut themselves off from and found guidance,peace and solace and education and wisdom.

They show me within the silence what truly matters and I am thankful for that. The spirits show me time doesnt stand still. That we must savour every moment and enjoy every moment and every living thing and person and their little ways.

That we must adapt and grow strong and wise and enjoy this experience on Earth. When life is still and silent…we are shown the truth of life and what matters and how right now counts. It is the silence where I am guided the most. Where I can hear and experience the greatness of wisdom.

I will always thank the spirits….

Sleep Paralysis…

One of the most terrifying things which ever happened to me, if not the most terrifying thing – was the night I had sleep paralysis….

I had slept quite well for most of the night until about 5am when I went to go the toilet. I returned and got into bed and began to go back sleep. Thats when something happened and something changed.

I remember opening my eyes and seeing the shadow of someone crossing the bedroom wall. The presence I got is that this was an evil dark presence. I remember seeing it cross the wall and reach another wall and in the mirror I seen the back of a mans head with dark brown hair reflect in the mirror as he turned and came towards me on the other side of the bed. I could tell by the way he moved he wasnt walking – but floating a few inches off the ground.

I tried so hard to move, I tried so hard to shout and scream but all I could move was my eyes. There was a faint pulse that passed through my body that was all. I thought I was dying.

But stood beside me in the room next to the bed was a man. He held his hands out fingers spread out towards me as if he was using an invisible force to pin me down.

This seemed to last a lifetime but I imagine in reality it was only a few seconds.

I can still see him now. He wore a brown suit. His hair was slicked back and he had a pocket watch chain going into his pocket which I imagine was where the watch was.

He struck me as wearing a style belonging to the 1950s. Considering this event took place in the early 21st century and I was in my early 20s at the time I had little experience or knowledge of styles in the 1950s.

I was absolutely terrified. The whole aura and situation and presence of the man was of an evil entity and of terror.

He then removed his hands and placed them in his pockets. He looked round the room almost with an expression of nostalgia as if he had been there before in the old house with a small grin. He then simply dissapeared and a strange glow through the window dissapeared but the room remained the same.

I was then free and sat bolt upright. The room was the same, the lighting through the window of the morning light was the same – all that had changed was the man had gone. He had simply vanished.

I can still see every detail of him and completely remember him up until this day. His style of hair, his face and his clothes and the pocket watch and his pose and body language. I remember every detail of the event. It was the most frightening experience I ever had.

People will tell me it was a dream a lucid dream etc and discredit my experience but to me it was very real and really happened to me. I know the difference between a dream and this experience.

I often searched family photos to see if I could ever see this man as I know I would recognize his face but found nothing.

Who was he? Someone who had existed before in history and long forgotten?

The only strange similarity took place a few years later when my nan was telling me and my mum a ghost story she experienced during the war and was of a relative of hers who died during the war and one night she claimed to of seen him in a room glowing bright – and wearing a brown suit….

The Underwater world…

One of my most favourite things to do is to be beneath the water. I find being under water so peaceful, enchanting, calm, quiet and mysterious.

This is a world where there are little or no people and it is like you are alone in the world.

The silence and the echos through the water are peaceful and relaxing and the water is fresh and and a nice warmth covering you as the water wraps wround you gently.

As you submerge into the depths of the mysterious world you feel a sense of escape and total freedom, yet mystery. What else lurks within the enchanting waters?

It is a great feeling to dive down and be cool on a hot summers day down to the cooler waters. Being a person who burns easy in the sun it is great to be in the water on a hot day and experience both worlds above and below the surface.

I would like to study the seabed and see if there is any treasure or ancient relics left from a yesteryear.

It would be great to see a shipwreck also. There are plenty of lost treasures and ships within the British waters.

I often imagine the folklore tales of sharks and mermaids within the waters. These are great waters you can imagine mermaids within.

Diving and swimming in British waters holds its own charm. There are not exotic creatures just mysterious cold water creatures and beautiful creatures.

Within these waters can be seals and Dolphins and Whales and certain types of Sharks. I would love to go swimming and diving in the Menai Straits in Anglesey.

The echoes and the quietness below the surface brings forward a great world. Many creatures live here such as dogfish and many crabs. The sea is a fascinating unexplored world.

One day I would like to swim and dive in more dangerous exotic waters and see the coral reef and see colourful fish and have the fear of Sharks.

One day may I swim in the Indian Ocean and dive into the depths of blue waters.

I have a fear of giant Octopus and Great White Sharks but an admiration and a respect in these great creatures too. I would love to see them from a safe place within the sea or below the surface such as in a Shark cage. The fear and excitement would make an amazing emotional combination.

I recommend anyone to swim under the water and experience another world and a sense of total freedom.

New Chapters….

In life there will come a point where we need to close one chapter and begin another.

As I flick through the chapters of my life and it is probably the same with most people – the most interesting chapters and tales are from childhood. The adult world seems to oppress our dreams and events and limit the excitement of the chapters in our life.

If your life became a book – you would become the main character. You are within every page and all events, people and scenarios revolve around you. Is your main character an interesting character? Is the plot interesting? Has there been many chapters and stories to tell?

Often we waste many times in the story of our life re-reading and editing the same chapter over and over again with the same characters but now is a time we must turn the page and begin a new chapter with a new story and different people and locations and plots.

Although there are times when I wish I could go back and re-live a chapter again. Ones which hold fond memories and moments and people within them. I wish I had the luxury to turn back to pages where I was at my happiest.

So we must flick through the pages and see what we think of the book of our lives…

How many people have we got in our lives that have become stale?

How many situations and locations have gone boring and the same four walls trap us?

Is it time for us to now begin a new chapter and turn the page to a new section and a fresh subplot?

We are the writers of our own story. We can decide the people who should be written out of the book of our lives and the change of scenes that we desire.

Our lives are a story and we must make it an interesting story. We afterall are the main character in the story of our life.

What do we desire the story of our live to be? A love story, a sad story of a horror story? We have the power to decide. I often think perhaps our stories are many different genres.

We all wish and desire a life of love but first we often suffer sadness, pain and despair. But we must take the pen and keep writing to develop what we desire at the end of our book.

As with most stories there will be a villain or a dark character. We must come to expect this and tolerate the darkness in our lives as this is the part of every story. But we must work on being the hero and being centre stage and we must work on making our story a happy ending.

They may not be a dark character or evil or nasty in general but just not good for us and best off elsewhere and time for them to be written out of the story of our life.

I often see many people stuck in one chapter in their lives and have no clue of how to begin a new chapter and seem quite unhappy and in standstill. They have become uninteresting to others and have no new tales to tell. These people have the writers block of life and have many blank pages.

So you are writing a story of your life into the reality of civilization. Is yours an interesting tale? Has it had many twists and turns and events taking place?

Remember you are the main character and the story revolves around you…

Has your life become stuck on the same chapter and is it now time for a new chapter?

Have a quick flick through the pages of your life and see whether it is now time to change the chapter….

May you have a long and interesting life and many chapters and stories to tell….